What’s in My Bag?

Good. I was avoiding cleaning out my purse.

The Splendidly Imperfect Miss M gave me the inspiration for this and as I’ve been shopping for a new purse for a week now (it’s too big; bizarre things end up in there), I thought I could use the opportunity to weed. From the top left clockwise (messily), I present you the amazingly entertaining contents of my purse.Happy Tuesday.

  1. iPhone with purple case Greasy from baby fingers and scratched from baby lobbing, the case is in bad shape. The phone underneath seems to be just fine. For now. I mean, you can never really tell.
  2. Vera Bradley wallet in Folkloric I love my wallet. I love it so much I use it all the time. Stupid wallet.
  3. Pewter Target purse I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Looking for a replacement but I’m missing the girl gene that can easily buy shoes and bags.
  4. Fekkai travel brush To tame my wild mane. Alas, I have so much hair that running a brush through it often means simply running a brush over the first layer of it. It’s a whole to-do.
  5. Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Espresso Nibs I bought these ages ago thinking I would always want these. I’m throwing them away.
  6. Day of the Dead coupon wallet I clip coupons now. It’s a mom thing. I have them paper-clipped into “Target,” “Safeway,” and “Other.” Don’t be jealous of these superinteresting details of my life.
  7. The Body Shop Coconut Body Butter Because I wash my hands three hundred times a day and I ain’t trying to be getting old hands. Plus, it smells like heaven.
  8. Earbuds My escape.
  9. Grafitti glasses They say “NO SOUL TO SELL” on the sides. I don’t know why. They look good from the front.
  10. 5 ponytail holders My greatest fear is that I will be caught without one of these and I will melt to death.
  11. Sharpie pen Best. Pen. Ever. Fully prepared to jot down important information, autographs and kill crosswords.
  12. Floss Dental hygiene, what what!
  13. My work ID The picture is horrendous and always reminds me of the awful bacon and pancakes breakfast the photographer was eating.
  14. Kleenex We were sick last week. I never used one of these tissues. That’s how you get over being sick. Add more unnecessary bulk to your already busting out purse and all will be healed.
  15. Dum Dums For good measure.
  16. Mexican oilcloth bag Holds my Sula Champagne Sugar perfume, my Victoria’s Secret lip gloss, my Neosporin, three sad Band-Aids (Transformers, Hello Kitty and camo), some hoop earrings, a mirror, and my Benefit Lipstick in Flirt Alert.
  17. H&M bracelet I used to wear this all the time but then the baby took a liking to it and it is now in hiding.
  18. Smith’s Rosebud Salve One of The Addictions.
  19. Orbit Wintermint gum Ya know, gum. It’s gum.
  20. Ibuprofen Okay, the end.
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