The day after Thanksgiving began with a visit to the pediatrician. The boy was sick. With my mom in tow, our day of holiday preparation became one of couch hostages. We were okay with it. We had some nursing back to health to do and some bad Christmas movies to watch.
Okay, it didn’t start out that we were intentionally going to see bad movies but in lining up my M.O.I. (movies of interest) list, I did choose some saccharine-laden-made-for-tv-with-clear-breaks-for-commercials selections that my husband rolled his eyes at. My mother, however, it game for any “bad” movie. In fact, they’re her favorite. Her entire DVD collection consists of $2 clearance films starring has-beens and, often, animal actors.
We began with Christmas Cupid (2010), an ABC Family film from last year (I could tell since it began explosively with some serious character establishment to the song “Oh, Santa!” by Mariah Carey, a favorite of last holiday season). Before this time, I only knew Christina Milian as my little brother’s high school crush. I IMDB’d her and realized we were the same age. The movie progressed with quite the teen/early 20s drama that ABC Family requires to exist. Then, at some ridiculous point way too far in the game, I realized the storyline was based on Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. This then made me 100% more interested as I looooooooove picking apart adaptations.
All in all, it was cute (perfect adjective, right?). I didn’t hate it. Jackée Harry emerged from my 80s memory as Milian’s daschund-loving mom. The little girl from Growing Pains also joined her. This is always entertaining for me. It’s ACC value was pretty decent for an intended audience that was likely to be texting through the whole movie. Plot points were clearly spelled out and linked to the literary work. That bugged me, but was probably helpful for someone using this movie to do their Dickens’ book report. I do have to say, though, that the green dress above has more likability than the movie as a whole, but that’s a little unfair because I really like emerald green.
Next.
I got a lovely email from Cox saying they’d give me 3 On-Demand movies for free this holiday season. Mom and I decided to cruise the On-Demand holiday movies for prospective next-watches. $4 for Home Alone? Golly. Glad I own it. I get Deck the Halls and Jingle All the Way (over-the-top, weird ensemble cast, Christmas carol lyrics, ugh) so I selected the preview for Deck the Halls and look at that, clumsy fingers, I bought the movie. So, I had to watch a movie I’d already sort of seen and not particularly liked despite the fact that it stars often-entertaining actors.
Let me summarize. Massachusetts. Christmas lights. Odd marital pairing of Kristin Chenoweth and Danny DeVito and even more odd marital pairing (for the SATC set) of Kristin Davis and Matthew Broderick. Families falling into irreparable debt and growing apart from each other, respectively. Davis has about 17 lines and is wearing pjs or a robe for nearly all of them. Out of place, but totally obligatory singing by Chenoweth. Kal Penn, Fred Armisen, and Jorge Garcia have small parts; two of them with accents. I don’t want to see it again. It was more like an improv plot thought up on a whim by these four actors than a film that was planned and paid for. Good sick day movie if there is nothing else on and it’s Christmastime and you hate yourself.
popcorn marshmallow 