Pumpkin Baby Cakes
Not just a sugary term of endearment, but perhaps the most amazing recipe to come to me in the recent past. Ready for it?
1 box cake mix (I used yellow)
1 can pumpkin
Mix. Fill bake cups and bake at 350 for 20-25 min. Yield about 16 cupcakes.
I mean, enjoy, obviously, but truthfully you won’t have to be told that once these babies start mixing up and then baking. They smell like heaven and taste like it, too. They are moist and easy and you have absolutely no reason not to make them rightthissecond.
I work at a public library so the people I run into on a daily basis are by no means there to impress anybody. They’re there to pick up the copy of The Hunger Games that they waited two months for and be on their way.
So, I was especially taken aback today when I saw a ridiculous girl in ridiculous shoes walking up the cobblestone, inclined breezeway that makes up our building’s entrance. Trudging uphill. Like a horse who’s seen better days. Often, women like this make me narrow my eyes in envy and I hate them for being able to masterfully pull off a pencil skirt and tucked-in blouse. This one, however, I smugly scoffed at. Partly because the August heat can make me mean-spirited and partly because pencil skirts and tucked-in blouses just don’t look all that good when they’re hunched over as a symptom of shoes that, let’s be honest, weren’t meant for walking on in real life. Stilettos in the library. Stop it right now.
I see her type other places, too. Downtown, at corners, standing with a group of her peers. Others like her. Uptight, coffee in hand, prayer on lips. Men laughing. Men whose sensible business shoes have actually managed to get more comfortable in this, the modern workforce. Insoles have been invented. Breathing technology has been added to leather. Shock resistance to soles. If only this were true for the standard issue shoe for stylish women professionals these days.
Women entered the workforce in droves in the 80s, complete with sensible pumps (which we still complained about) and tennis shoes in our bags. Sure, these sneakers were horrifying when paired with pantyhose and dress suits, but we knew that it was just craziness to walk around all day in heels. The 90s were a lost age of flip flops, Dr. Martens and clogs. Then, something went amiss in the past decade with professional wear for young women and the heel not only returned, but with a vengeance. Like an evil twin version of itself. With fangs that, instead of ferociously facing out, attack from the inside onto the wearer.
Sure, some women can pull off the 16-hour stiletto wear (I mean, I personally think they’re lying to themselves and us all) and to them, I tip my hat. To the others ready to give up the charade, I have a plea.
I beg you now, corner girls clutching your lattes for dear life: simply give the heels a rest. I promise your ensemble will look just as thrilling with a lesser heel. A wedge. A (silence, please) flat. We’ve come this far. Do not hold us back because of the cute factor. Yes, everything you’ve learned on tv and in fashion magazines says I’m wrong and I was only half serious when I promised you’ll look as amazing as ever without your heels, but this next point you cannot argue with. WHO honestly CARES? Are you really going to lose friends over your shoe choices? No. What about your work image? Your boss will probably appreciate a more focused, less pain-ridden employee. There are just so many other ways to make yourself look and feel fabulous that don’t require physical pain. I like red lipstick. I implore you to discover your own or else risk looking like a giraffe recently shot by a tranquilizer gun. Who am I to give this advice? I’m a 5’2” gal that probably should be wearing heels to elongate my form and all that nonsense, but I don’t. Because it’s insane. Poke fun all you want, but you can ask anyone, as much as I complain about everything, I’ve never complained about my feet hurting.Image courtesy of Art.com
Remember when Madonna went to that awards show with Michael Jackson and the earth stood still because–oh, my God, were they dating? If so, could that union really work? Isn’t there a cap for how much awesome can exist in a couple? (The Jolie-Pitts answered that question by becoming progressively lamer over time.)
I was confronted with a similar feeling of exasperation when my dear friend FB-posted a recipe of a cookie that could only have been invented by the food demons that keep Paula Deen from dying of a heart attack (I mean, that lady’s vital!). The Oreo Stuffed Chocolate Chip Cookie.
What the what, you ask? Surely you’ve stuck bite-size Snickers in a sugar cookie before, right? Delicious. This, however, intrigued me to the point of action! (A tough feat for my lazy butt these days). Not only is it a cookie within the very same cookie entity, it’s a chocolate cookie within a chocolate cookie. I mean, come on. Don’t your teeth hurt just reading that?
So, after I purchased my second container of Double Stuf Oreos ever (I have absolutely NO idea where the first went!), I got to work.
(The recipe can be found at Picky Palate.)
The verdict? Amazing first bite. Second, pretty darn good. The third, you want to die. No amount of milk can better this situation. Also, they’re so substantial that you could easily use them as training discus…-es. Disci? (It’s discuses. I looked it up. Because I’m a librarian.)
I called my mom, the queen of unbelievable desserts and she suggested the mini Oreos for a regular, human-sized result.
I, myself, will never eat one of these again (it’s just all too much, as another very wise dear friend predicted) but I have been commissioned to make a ton for someone’s birthday this weekend. They will be smaller.
*Popcorn Marshmallow, I am not going to bring you any of these after all. I brought them to work to impose their sweetness on strangers. I love you too much to do this to you. (I’ll make you a batch of the smaller ones this weekend!)
The Splendidly Imperfect Miss M gave me the inspiration for this and as I’ve been shopping for a new purse for a week now (it’s too big; bizarre things end up in there), I thought I could use the opportunity to weed. From the top left clockwise (messily), I present you the amazingly entertaining contents of my purse.Happy Tuesday.